Some Words to Live By

アポロ ( Apollo) 

曙町4-45, 横浜市中区, 神奈川県 231-0057

I wrote a post a few years back about one of my ex-gf who I had met on the JR.   She was one of my first Jukujo (cougar/milf), I had met on the Approach Method.    You can click on the link for more clarity about the person.   

So I received an iMessage from her for the first time in 3 or 4 years asking if I wanted to go drinking!   Not knowing what to make of this abrupt invitation I texted her back asking what was the occasion, and who was going to be there.    Basically, why all of a sudden do you need to see me, and were there any strings attached, was my main concern     She said no one, and that it would be just us at her friends bar.

On the ride to the bar I drudged up some old memories about us, when we were together.  She lost both parents due to illness when she was  six or seven, and was raised by some  very distant relatives.     She had it hard her whole life working in and out of bars and entertaining salarymen her whole life, which gave her years of experience in dealing with drunkard salarymen most of her life.  

The thing here is that in many relationships in Japan, ex's rarely keep in touch with each other.   Some may disagree with this, but this has been the common belief that once a relationship is over, it's over, and there's no chance of ever rekindling an old flame once it's blown out.    That's in Japan.

The place where we met is called the Apollo, and it's one of the oldest bars in Yokohama. Since about 1964 during the Tokyo Games the place has been in business.    Old, very well preserved, I ran my hand across the wood grain counter; the low hung lamps, and upholstery getting a feel of the place.    I liked it.   The bartender was  70ish,  with hair so white it looked  like spun silk.   He had a freaky laugh and a glowing personality, too.  The drinks were all classics and good.     The ex was looking good as well, and well aged like I like them.

As we were catching up on old times, the drunkard to my left started up a conversation with me in difficult to understand Japanese.   I wasn't so interested in him, but I decided to indulge him nevertheless.    I wanted to know what he was drinking.   And then I received a gentle nudge from my ex telling me to ignore him, he's drunk and you do not have to worry about him.    I heeded her advice and then  excused myself to go to the restroom to freshen up a bit.    When I came out, she had switched seats with me, sitting next to him.

At first, I really didn't think anything of it.   When I sat down she reached into her purse and gave me a coin to put into the jukebox, so I got up again, went to the musicbox and placed the coin into the slot and selected a song by the Stylistics.    I returned to my seat and she then turns to me and starts telling me about how it's totally unnecessary to speak to drunkard salarymen here, and that it was a waste of time, and to not care about them.    

I have always thought this way was best myself, but to hear it come from another Japanese was rare.   Most Japanese consider it a bad manner if a foreigner blows off a Japanese, even in a drunkard state, and that that foreigner should always be the little ambassadors of the English language wherever they go in Japan, and to always smile and play along even if he or she really isn't in the mood.   I totally despise this attitude and wholeheartedly disagree with it.   There's nothing worst than being spoken to by someone whom you do not know in broken English.    It's nerve-racking.   

The reason she moved over next to the Japanese drunkard salaryman was to remind him to not speak to me, and that I was with her.    I love the protective nature of the Jukujo.   She knew nothing good could come out of it, and that's why she moved in on the situation.   There's really nothing for a sober foreigner and a drunkard Japanese salaryman to talk about, especially when our ideals are worlds apart.     

(" Leave people alone and just let them be, don't worry about them!")

The drunkard salaryman gathered his belongings and hurried out of there quickly, which is what I liked.   It was nice that she never lost her edge when dealing with people, always feisty, strong, and resilient.   Surviver.   These qualities aren't typical with young Japanese women, and not so much nowadays with modern Jukujo.   

The thing with her is that she is too strong, and there's not one nurturing bone in her body at all.   I like the tender cougar best; sometimes too much strength can ruin the tender moments that nurture relationships between an older woman and a young man.   And I am not attracted to this kind of strength in as much as I am the overbearing motherly nature of the traditional Japanese mom.    But considering the circumstances in which she was raised, I can see why she was so strong.   

I think that if you can enjoy the drink, and just sit back and take it all in then this would be best, and particularly with someone if you choose to be with someone.   Striking up conversations with strangers has its place, but not all the time.   At least with like minded drunkards it's ok.    

It's not a crime to ignore.